


Fill me with doubt

by Sanshal



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bets & Wagers, Blackmail, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extremely Dubious Consent, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, M/M, Partner Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 18:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8068525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanshal/pseuds/Sanshal
Summary: Jared is faced with irrefutable proof that his husband has been unfaithful... but is everything as it appears?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/n- This fic is darker than my usual in the sense that there is little to no schmoop... only a ton of angst with limited on-screen comfort.  
>  Title from a Leona Lewis song.

 

Fill me with doubt

\---

_THEN_ (2 years ago)

“I have no idea how you can be so calm when your husband gets propositioned!”

Jared grinned, “Well, look at him JD; who _wouldn’t_ want Jen?”

“Yeah, and one day he’s going to get an offer that he’ll accept and leave you heartbroken.”

Jared shook his head, “Nah, Jensen’s not like that.”

“Everyone has a weakness, JT.” The older man cautioned.

“Not Jen.” Jared answered confidently. “Hell, I’ll wager anything on that because Jensen’s _not_ gonna cheat on me.”

Brown eyes narrowed considering, “I’ve never lost a bet in my life, Jared.”

“You’ll lose _this_ one.”

 

Dimples peeked from behind a salt and pepper beard as Jeffery Dean Morgan smiled, “You’re on.”

  
\-----

_NOW_

 

Jared smacked the slender envelope next to Jensen who jumped in surprise, smile fading as he noticed Jared’s expression.

“Jay?”

“ _Don’t._ ”

Brows scrunching in confusion he made to reach out. “Jay, what?”

“You can drop the innocent act. I _know._ ” Jared growled, flinching away from the touch.

A flicker of a smile ghosted over Jensen’s lips, “You do realize you’re not making any sense, don’t you?”

Hazel eyes narrowed as Jared glared at his husband, “Check the envelope.”

Nodding slightly, Jensen pulled the packet towards him, up-turning it to carelessly spill its contents over the table. It was only then that he froze. Eyes darting over the photographs as he blanched.

“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” Jared questioned cruelly, some vindictive part of him relishing the look of misery on his husband’s face- glad to make him feel as bad... _as nauseous_ as he himself had when he’d first seen the images. And even knowing what they contained, the masochistic in him couldn’t help but glance at them again; the betrayal washing through him one more time as he saw the slender, elegant... _familiar_ lines of Jensen’s body frozen forever in snapshots as he moved over another.

“What? You’ve got nothing to say now, _Jen?_ ” Purposefully using the nickname to watch Jensen flinch.

Jensen visibly steeled himself to look up at Jared but said nothing.

“Not going to say that the pictures are not real? That that’s not you?”

“I think we both know better than that, Jared.” Jensen licked his suddenly dry lips, “Besides, would it matter irrespective of what I said? Would you believe me?”

Jared stared back evenly even though his heart was breaking at the lack of denial on his husband’s part. “Get out.”

And apparently, _that_ was what it took for Jensen to comprehend the enormity of his actions because that well-loved face crumpled, “Jay-”

“ _Don’t.”_ Jared cut in, “You lost the right to call me that when you decided to give your body to your _lover_.”

Jensen swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing with the action.

They stared like that at each other for an interminable moment before Jared’s eyes skittered to the pictures still lying over the table. “You know what the absolutely worst part is?”

Tortured green eyes met his and once upon a time they might have broken him; but as things stood, he didn’t particularly feel sympathetic- _especially,_ as a tiny voice whispered in his head that _he _ was the one betrayed, not Jensen. “You were lying from the very beginning, weren’t you?”

His husband didn’t answer but then again, Jared had never had any problems reading Jensen’s myriad expressions and continued, “You told me you never bottom- that you’re an _exclusive top._ ”

Jensen’s eyes wondered back to the incriminating photographs as he ducked his head, whether in shame or something else Jared wasn’t sure.  
“Alright, you know what?” Jared bit out- anger fed by Jensen’s lack of response, “ _Get out_.”

That atleast seemed to garner a response as Jensen’s head jerked up, the once loved-  _worshiped even_ , emerald eyes glittering with hurt.

“Get out of my house,” Jared repeated, forcing his heart not to respond to his husband’s expression, “Get out of my _life_ , Jensen. I never thought I’d be saying this- not to you; but I hope you rot in hell. _Get - ... just get out.”_

For a moment neither moved. Jared wondered if things were going to turn ugly between them... _well, uglier._

But then Jensen slowly got up, every movement stilted like it hurt him and limped- _limped_ \- to the bedroom they shared: Jared recognized that hitching step from the countless times they had gotten a bit too enthusiastic while making love.

_He had never seen it on Jensen though._

  
\----

“Someone looks like they need a drink.” Jeffrey commented as Jared collapsed in the seat next to him.

“Whisky. Neat.” He mumbled, head hanging low.

“What ‘appened? Tiff with the hubby?”

Jared took a healthy swallow before answering, “We broke up.”

To his credit, Jeff didn’t say anything.

“Jensen cheated on me.” He confessed eventually, feeling the tears sting the back of his eyes.

“Huh,” JD said, “Guess you owe me twenty dollars after all.”

Jared raised his head to blink uncomprehendingly at his friend, fingers trailing through the moisture condensing on his glass.

“Told you everyone had a weakness.” JD told him, his dimples hinted at through the scruff as he smiled at Jared, “It just took a while longer to find your boy’s.”

Jared froze mid sip, “Come again?”

JDM looked at him steadily, his expression smug, “You heard me.”

And he was punching the older man before he’d registered his own movement. “You _slept_ with _my_ husband?”

“’course not!” Jeffrey rubbed a thumb over his mouth to wipe the crop of blood where Jared’s wedding ring had split his lips, “My friends wanted a party favour. Jensen was... _is_ attractive enough to qualify.”

Jared felt his blood drain, not allowing himself to linger on the plural he didn’t miss- _friends_ ; he swallowed down the bile that rose at that. He couldn’t help the crack in his voice as he whispered, “You _raped_ him.”

“Pfft!” His friend waved away his concern, “He _consented.”_

“Why?” And Jared was proud to finally get his voice back in control again.

“What?”

“You said everyone had a weakness. What was Jen’s, huh?” He repeated, a part of him already knowing the answer, “What did you tell him to make him consent?”

“Can’t tell you all my secrets now, can I boy?”

And Jared. _Had. Enough_.

He grabbed his friend- _former friend-_ ‘s collar to haul him up as he repeated, “What was his _weakness?”_

He watched as JD began choking from the tightness of Jared’s grip but refused to relent till he had his answer. It didn’t take as long as he’d expected.

_“You.”_

  
\----

 

“You can’t see him.” Were Misha Collins' first words when Jared pounded on his door less than an hour later.

“I know he’s here, Misha. Please; I- I _need_ to see him.”

The blue-eyed man was shaking his head, “I never said he wasn’t here, Jared... Just that you can’t speak to him.”

“I-” Jared passed, unable to come up with a good-enough response, “ _Please-”_

“Let him in, Mish.”

They both froze at Jensen’s voice before Misha gave a curt nod and stepped back, allowing Jared to enter.

“I’ll let you guys catch up.” Misha said before plucking his keys off the table next to the door and slipping out quietly.

_Neither man noticed._

“Papers drawn already?” Jensen asked after a minute when Jared simply continued to stare at him. He extended a hand and it was only then that Jared noticed the raw skin around his wrists.

“ _Jesus, Jensen_.” Jared whispered, “Did you even go to a doctor yet?”

His husband smiled faintly before nodding.

“What-” Jared licked his suddenly dry lips, “What was the prognosis?”

Jensen’s smile was wry as he answered, “I-uh...I’ll be having a hard time sitting for a while. And shitting, I guess. He... He’s given me some stuff to help.”

“Tearing?”

Jensen shook his head, “Thankfully, no.”

“Thank God.” Jared agreed.

Jensen’s expression seemed to tighten at that, “Why are you here, Jared? I’m _still_ guilty of cheating on you. Nothing’s changed in the last couple of hours.”

“Everything’s changed, Jen.” He whispered, “I figured out the truth.”

A brow rose questioningly, “Did you?”

He nodded. “You were raped.”

Jensen shook his head, “I consented.”

Jared mimicked Jensen’s gesture, shaking his head vehemently in denial, “JD told me he what you did... _why_ you did... _it._ ”

Jensen’s expression morphed into quizzical, “JD?”

Jared had the grace to blush, “We... JD and I had bet years ago.”

“About?”

“About whether or not you’d cheat on me.”

Jensen’s lips thinned.

“I knew you wouldn’t. I- I figured it was a safe bet... didn’t know he’d stoop to blackmail.” He ducked his head.

“JD was behind this?” Jensen’s voice was incredulous.

Jared’s head shot up. “You didn’t know?”

His husband shook his head, “This guy came to me with some papers. You were going to end up in prison unless I agreed to be their _party favour_.”

Jared swallowed, “We had lawyers.”

“Not for this. There was no way out and I knew that.”

“They hurt you.”

“Better me than you.” Jensen admitted easily.

Jared swallowed- most people only dreamed of a love like that. _And to think he’d nearly thrown it away._

“Do- Do you still feel the same way?”

A tiny helpless smile touched the edges of Jensen’s lips, “I don’t think that’s ever going to change, Jay.”

“Despite what I said to you earlier?” Jared couldn’t help but ask.

Jensen shrugged, “Like I said; I don’t know how to quit you.”

Jared smiled at the line from Brokeback Mountain, striding forward to pull his husband into his arms again; freezing when Jensen hissed, “You okay?”

  
His husband smiled that familiar, private grin that he had especially for Jared, “I _will_ _be_.”

And as Jensen’s tense muscles uncoiled in Jared’s arms, he felt his cheeks heat: despite _everything_ \- in spite of everything _he’d said just a few hours ago_ ; Jensen still trusted him- _still cared for him._

Things were far from over: Jensen still needed to tell him what exactly had transpired and what they had blackmailed him with. They also needed to figure out what to do about JDM. But most importantly, Jensen needed to _heal_ first and Jared was fairly certain that even if his physical wounds were minimal/on the mend, his husband most definitely was yet to deal with the emotional fallout.

But for now, standing in Misha Collins' foyer, holding the man he loved more than life itself was enough. Anything else they could- _would-_ deal with; _Together._

 “C’mon, let’s go home.”

  
\----

The End

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> \-----  
> \------  
> (So... what do you think, good/bad?)
> 
> A/n- For those waiting for the next part in my Alpha-Mates & Omega’ verse series, please give me some more time. I’m working on fresh parts to both, but my RL has suddenly become super busy and I don’t have as much time to write as I want. 


End file.
